


A Terminal Case of Stupidity

by manic_intent



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Alpha!Yondu, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, I had to get it out of my system, In which humans are the only sentient race that don't have heat cycles, M/M, That AU where Peter doesn't know he's an omega until his heat happens, and Yondu's absolutely mystified as to how we get any shit done, but are betas who are in season all the time, omega!Peter, sorry guys this is just filthy porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-06
Updated: 2014-10-06
Packaged: 2018-02-20 03:08:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2412722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manic_intent/pseuds/manic_intent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Yondu," Peter tried again, when he was being herded somewhere, one of Yondu's hands tight in his collar and the other pressed hard against his lower back. "I think I have a fever or something."</p><p>"You're an idiot," Yondu grit out in response, and didn't slow. Muzzily, Peter noted that they were going up through the life deck, to the ladder that led up to the crew decks, and he only reluctantly began to climb when Yondu growled at him and pushed him pointedly against the rungs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Terminal Case of Stupidity

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Peter is experiencing his first heat, and is absolutely terrified. Being abducted at such a young age, he hasn't the slightest clue as to what the A/B/O 'verse is.
> 
> It doesn't help that all of the Ravagers are alphas.
> 
> After stumbling through the ship in search of a suitable alpha to mate with, he finally finds Yondu. It is fast and brutal, and after, Yondu brushes him off, angrily attempting to hide the fact that he felt used.
> 
> Peter then awkwardly sets about trying to show Yondu that he'd actually had feelings for him before the heat... without instigating an uncomfortably sentimental moment. 
> 
> \--
> 
> Peter was grabbed at ... age 8-11? Which I think is prob more than enough time to have gone through elementary school, and vaguely internalised gender concepts, at the least. So I'm going to run with the idea that humans are all betas, and Peter has omega traits because he's a halfblood. Sorry OP. :O

I.

"Yondu," Peter tried again, when he was being herded somewhere, one of Yondu's hands tight in his collar and the other pressed hard against his lower back. "I think I have a fever or something."

"You're an idiot," Yondu grit out in response, and didn't slow. Muzzily, Peter noted that they were going up through the life deck, to the ladder that led up to the crew decks, and he only reluctantly began to climb when Yondu growled at him and pushed him pointedly against the rungs. 

"No seriously," Peter panted, even as he somehow managed the concentration to climb. "I'm feeling hot and cold all at once, I'm sweating like a... like a... something sweating, I'm kinda dizzy and I'm not sure if maybe I'm infectious." 

"Either you're an idiot, or humans are idiots," Yondu muttered. "One more floor, kid."

"That's not where my cabin is," Peter hesitated on the main crew deck, and started to climb again only when shoved.

"We're not going to your cabin."

Puzzled, but still too dazed by the fever to get around to thinking about it, Peter obligingly kept climbing, and before he knew it they were in Yondu's cabin. Bigger than the rest, the Captain's cabin also had a viewport, which looked out into empty space, dotted here and there with stars. Normally, Peter would have plastered himself against the steelglass, but today, for some reason, Yondu's bunk just seemed really, really inviting. He was curled up on it and breathing deep before Yondu could say anything, and Yondu muttered something again, sitting down on the edge and pulling off Peter's boots, stowing them under the bunk. 

"So I don't have a fever?"

"No, what you do have is a terminal case of stupid." Yondu rolled his eyes. "What were you thinking, huh, walking through the life deck smelling like _that_? You're lucky that I was around to sort shit out." 

"Like what?" Peter asked, genuinely bewildered, but Yondu merely rolled his eyes again and started to get up. Peter didn't know where the impulse came from, but he reached out hastily, grabbing for Yondu's coat. The Ravager Captain frowned at him, and embarrassed, Peter blushed. "I uh. I was looking for you." 

Usually, Peter's brain-to-mouth filter was (as Kraglin put it) terminally nonfunctional, but today it seemed even more terminal than usual. Yondu tilted his head. "Yeah? And why's that?" 

Something had changed in Yondu's gruff tone, but Peter couldn't quite pick it out. "I... well, uh." The fever was getting worse. And, to Peter's dull horror, he was also getting _hard_ , lying on _Yondu's bed_ , and he could feel a wetness between his thighs that had to be some sort of gross fever-induced thing. Ugh. Trust him to soil the thermal padding on _Yondu's bed_.

On the other hand, Yondu was sitting down again, which was a good thing, Peter's fever-muddled brain told him. "Look, kid. I'm not so sure how human biology works, but most of the rest of us can sit through a heat fine if we're left alone. When you get over it, I'll have Kraglin talk to you about how to hole up without getting into trouble-" 

Puzzled, Peter interjected, "Well, um, if you take my temperature I can tell you whether there's something to be worried about."

"You're _not_ running a fever." 

"But I'm sick?"

"Nope." Yondu squinted at him. "Your mommy never told you about heats? You're a fuckin' _omega_. What, is it rare on Earth or somethin'?" 

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Peter said, absolutely mystified. 

"Uh huh," Yondu said, sounding absolutely unconvinced. "So why were you lookin' for me, then?"

"It just..." Peter waved a hand helplessly, "It just seemed right," he said awkwardly. "I felt like I had to look for you."

"Uh huh. Why's that?"

"You, um, smell really good," Peter said dazedly, even as a small voice within him slapped itself on the forehead and told him to stop being such a creeper. "I probably shouldn't be lying on your bed. Something kinda gross is happening. Sorry." 

"Yeah, I can see that," Yondu's voice seemed to have dropped a whole register, and Peter shivered, curling his fingers into the padding with a low gasp. "Kid," Yondu added, "Look. This is ass over backwards. Us Zatoans, we don't do shit like this unless it's gonna be serious. And up until you showed up on the life deck smelling like... yeah, like what you did, I had no fuckin' idea that you were an omega."

"A what? Am I in trouble?" Peter asked, in a small voice, because although usually Yondu's temper was mostly just a source of entertainment, today it just felt like it was going to be devastating. Somehow.

"Nope. We'll just chalk it down to you Earth people being more fucked up than I thought, and Kraglin'll have a talk with you later when you've calmed down some. Okay?" 

"I don't want you to go." Peter hated sounding needy, but he hated the idea of Yondu leaving even more. "C'mon. Please." 

Yondu shuddered. "Are you even listening to me?"

"Yes. No. Um."

"Ah, fuck it," Yondu muttered. "This is on your head, okay? You want me to stay, you lose the clothes."

Peter frowned, puzzled by the statement, but he found his fingers going up to fumble with the catches on his vest, sliding over the leather. Yondu didn't even bother to help, watching with a strange sort of avid interest as Peter managed to pull off vest, undershirt and finally his breeches and soaked underthings, and hell, that was fucking gross. He was leaking everywhere and his temperature felt like it was spiking and what _was_ that weird smell, like musk and molasses? 

"Empty Space," Yondu muttered. "You're one of _those_ species." Before Peter could ask, Yondu had swiped an index finger over the weird slick on his thigh, and Peter stiffened as he watched Yondu pop the finger into his _mouth_.

 _Gross_. But somehow... really hot. As well. Peter had to be going crazy. He tried to put a hand over his definitely thickened arousal, utterly embarrassed, but Yondu pinned his wrists to the bed, eyeing him avidly for a long moment. Peter's breathing hiked, and he felt like he had to be cherry red by now, splotchy all over, but something in his hindbrain made him groan and try to spread his legs, and Yondu growled, low and hungry and almost _feral_. 

Still. It wasn't until _Yondu_ started dragging off his own clothes, his big fingers jerky with haste, that a slow thought brimmed up in Peter's brain and he said, "Uh. Is this a sex thing?"

Yondu froze. " _What_."

"Just, er, just, well, asking."

"... okay, kid," Yondu said, very carefully, "What do you think?"

"It uh, sure looks like it's going to be?" Peter said, and just the _thought_ of that, of being pinned under Yondu again, made his breath hitch and break. 

"And? You okay with that? 'Cos that's what's gonna happen, if you want me to stay."

Peter shuddered, his shoulders pressing against the bunk padding, and he'd thought that he would have more of a freak out of about this, really, but all he could think of was _ohfuckyes_ and _nowplease_ and how this moment, right now, felt like he had just been handed the one missing piece in a previously impenetrable puzzle. He breathed out, ragged and nervous. "Yeah. _Yeah_." 

Yondu stared at him for a moment longer, then he pulled his clothes off so quickly that a clasp snapped off his vest, dumping his boots on the deck with no regard for stowing them properly. God damn. Under his breeches, Yondu was _really_ packing. Peter's eyes went wide and huge. 

"Hands and knees," Yondu said roughly, and Peter obeyed instantly, clutching the edge of the bunk and hiking his hips up until the air. He looked worriedly over his shoulder as Yondu got off the bunk, about to protest, then ended up letting out a startled yelp instead as Yondu simply bent behind him and licked a lazy stripe up between his thighs. 

"Oh, oh. Oh shit." Peter whimpered, because that should have been really disgusting but somehow wasn't: his cock ached with a renewed fervour even as Yondu chuckled darkly and did it again, this time sealing his mouth over Peter's hole and licking _inside_ , what the fuck, drinking up whatever that slick thing was and moaning noisily even as he did it.

As a teenager, Peter wasn't exactly an innocent to the ribald or the obscene, in part thanks to his exposure to the datanet and the _Eclector's_ onboard systems, but he'd never even _thought_ of something like this before, let alone thought of _Yondu_ doing it to him. Big hands dug into his thighs when Peter reflexively tried to jerk away, then Peter's breaths broke into dry sobs when Yondu started to suck, all the while fucking him first with his tongue, then with his fingers, the intrusion thick but strangely not in the least uncomfortable. 

It wasn't until Peter started tentatively bucking back against Yondu's fingers that Yondu rumbled, "Kid. You all right?"

Dazed, Peter could only nod dumbly.

"Know what's gonna happen next?"

"Um. Your... your dick. And." He couldn't really say it.

"Yeah," Yondu chuckled again. "Right up here." He crooked his fingers, pressing _hard_ against _something_ that made Peter arch up and squeal. " _Ahh_ fuck. That's a good sound." 

"Do it," Peter urged him breathlessly, because all of a sudden it felt as though Yondu's fingers were nowhere near enough. He wanted more. 

"What d'you know about Zatoan biology?"

"Um. Uh. Y-you guys are omnivores and-"

"Not that." Yondu said impatiently. "We knot. You know what that is?"

"N-no?"

"Aw, hell," Yondu muttered to himself, and Peter shivered and whined as Yondu fit in a fourth, thick finger, scissoring in and out, the stretch still foreign but not uncomfortable. "Does this hurt?"

"No." 

"Not at all?'

"Uhm. No." 

"Okay. Okay. I think you can probably take it then," Yondu said, very carefully, "But if it gets too much, you gotta tell me. Understand?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah? What did I just say?"

"Uhh... if it gets too much, I got to tell you," Peter replied obediently, starting to squirm, and Yondu growled again and shoved him an inch up against the bunk, making as if to climb on, then muttering about a 'fuckin' lack of space' and tugging Peter partly off the bunk instead, such that his chest was pressed over the padding and his cock was dangling in the air, feet braced on the deck. 

Then Yondu pushed in to him, holding him inexorably still as he drove in, inch by inch, and Peter started gasping, then groaning, until he finally let out a keening cry when Yondu was balls deep; so _full_ and pinned down and _safe_ with nowhere to go - it felt like something within Peter was folding open, rising, _changing_.

"All right there?" Yondu asked, his voice almost unrecognisable, like a liquid snarl. 

"Yeah. Yeah." Peter hitched up his hips a little, experimentally, but he couldn't quite move in Yondu's grip. "S'good."

"Yeah?" Yondu shifted out an inch and rocked back in, as though experimentally. "How was that?"

"Kinda - _ngh_ \- kinda need more," Peter mumbled, and tried to bury his face in the padding, ears burning with total embarrassment.

"What was that?" Yondu asked, his tone thick with amusement.

"Yondu!"

"Couldn't hear you there, kid."

"It feels good, okay?" Peter nearly wailed, trying to squirm in Yondu's grip but still unable to move. It felt like he was being kept on the brink of going absolutely insane, the brittle edge of madness, and he needed _more_ , wanted to be _taken_. " _Please_ fuck me now, okay?"

Yondu's only answer was a grunt, then he did start, all deep, punishing thrusts, holding Peter still and forcing him to just lie there and take it, seemingly immune no matter how Peter begged and sobbed and clawed at the padding, trying to will Yondu to go faster. When Peter went limp, too exhausted to keep trying, Yondu shifted a hand down, to stroke Peter's cock, and at the first fist he made over Peter's flesh, Peter let out a loud whine as he spilled messily all over Yondu's fingers. 

"Ah fuck," Yondu groaned, and his free hand shifted up to splay over Peter's lower back, pinning him with Yondu's weight and strength behind it to the bunk, and _then_ Yondu just... went to town, all brutal, savage thrusts that Peter could feel in his spine, pure violent lust that threaded Yondu's snarls with Peter's squeals.

And Peter could feel _something_ near the base of Yondu's cock thickening, starting to stretch him further, but even as he let out a startled, strangled sob and tried blindly to squirm away Yondu hissed and bore down over his back, making him take it, until even Yondu's thrusts stopped altogether, his cock pressed firmly against the sweet spot within Peter as his arm locked around Peter's waist, holding him still as whatever it was expanded.

"W-what is that?" Peter managed to gasp.

"Told you. Knot." Yondu muttered. "Stay still." 

"But... but I don't even-" Peter began, then squeaked when Yondu growled again and bit down hard at the nape of his neck. Peter went rigid, then started to relax when Yondu licked the bite mark, but all Peter could think of was the mass of whatever it was inside him, the stretch, and how it really should hurt but it didn't, not agony anyway, and he clenched down over it with a tight breath.

"Shit. Don't do that," Yondu groaned, and Peter flinched as he felt Yondu start to come, filling him up with what felt like a hot, thick fluid, more and more of it until Peter felt like he had to be too full, that it had to be leaking out, but the mass was keeping it inside him, in his belly, and that was, that was-

Yondu let out a gasp as Peter came again, more thinly this time, then he grunted and somehow shifted them both up on the bed, spooning Peter tightly against his chest.

"Shit," Yondu said again, and this time, despite himself, Peter started to laugh, breathless and strangled and a little panicky, now that the fever seemed to have broken and it felt like he was walking back from whatever insane trippy daze he had been in. 

"Shit," Peter agreed, and started to laugh again. He couldn't seem to help it, even though he tried to swallow it down.

"Heat gone down some?"

"Y-yeah. Think so. Um. When does your, uh, go down?"

"Give it a few minutes." 

"Uh. Okay." Peter hesitated. "Thanks." 

"For what?"

"Um." Peter stared hard at the hull. "Helping me out." God. He was such a dumb kid. He'd just had sex with Yondu. _Yondu_. And it seemed like the sex plus fever had fried all his brain cells. He couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Ah." There was a strange note in Yondu's voice. "So you weren't fuckin' listenin' after all."

"To what?"

"Nevermind. Just use the cleanser when the knot's down. On everything. Including your clothes."

"Sorry," Peter mumbled. "About the mess." 

"Yeah? Whatever," Yondu said, and he sounded more like his irritable usual self. "You fuckin' humans."

II.

Yondu was in such a black mood that Peter hid out of his way for the next week, after which he couldn't really take it anymore and approached Kraglin meekly to ask what the hell was up.

Kraglin rolled his eyes and dragged him over to the starboard obs deck, then glared pointedly until the couple of Ravagers playing dice on one of the obs tables muttered to themselves and slunk out of the chamber. "You don't _know_?" 

"I really don't know, all right?" Peter had used the datanet for research after the fact, and had been utterly mystified. "Look. This alpha, beta and omega thing? Humans don't have it. We just have guys and girls. Males. Females. Okay?" 

Kraglin shot him an unimpressed look. "Kid, I'm a beta, and even _I_ could fuckin' _smell_ you from across the life deck. Lucky Yondu grabbed you quick, or a riot would probably have started."

"Right. So. I don't know why I'm an... omega, or whatever it is, maybe I'm some sort of throwback or I have weird blood or something, I don't know. But I'm _telling_ you, Kraglin. This kinda stuff. Humans don't have it, okay? I had absolutely no fucking idea."

Kraglin shot him a slow and measured stare, scratching at his jaw. "Weird... blood. Huh. I see. Okay." 

"You believe me?"

"Yeah. You're too dumb to lie about something this big."

"... okay," Peter said, exhaling irritably and deciding to let the backhanded insult slide. "So. Everything was kinda a shock. I mean, heat _cycles_? Humans don't have that. Or... or having _seasons_ or whatever. Okay?" 

"Okay. Weird, but okay." Kraglin eyed him thoughtfully. "Looks like you both fucked up, then."

"Yeah." Peter said, with relief. "And look. I'm sorry. I'll like to clear the air, okay? I was really out of it. I had no idea what was really happening. So. I kinda. Want to explain. Without it turning all..." he gestured wildly, trying to indicate sentimental sappiness without actually having to say it. 

"Thing is," Kraglin said idly, "The Captain's species kinda takes this alpha-omega thing real seriously. I mean, my people? We're more of a live and let live, if-no-one-gets-shot-then-fine sort of deal. And I don't know about humans."

"I can tell you that humans don't even _do_ this," Peter said sourly. "Far as I can tell, every human except me is a beta. I'm some sort of freak. Just my fucking luck."

"All right," Kraglin said, with a sigh. "Fine. I'll try and talk to Yondu. But he won't come to you. You're going to have to go to him." 

"Sure. When?" Peter asked nervously.

"I'll let you know." Kraglin hesitated again, then he awkwardly clapped Peter on the shoulder. "If it helps, I'm fairly sure the Captain won't chuck you out of an airlock. Even if you fuck it up again."

"Wow, Kraglin. Thanks." 

"Don't mention it."

III.

"Okay kid. Talk." Yondu said abruptly, the moment Peter let himself into Yondu's cabin. Yondu was standing beside the viewport, and the cabin smelled of disinfectant and the plasticky scent of air recyclers.

"Okay." Peter took in a deep breath, and his carefully prepared mental script immediately crumbled. "Okay. Uh. I'm an idiot. I know that. But I also didn't know what was happening. And I was kinda out of it. But even if I wasn't, and I did know what was happening, I would have... well, being here, uh, that is, with you here, it did kinda feel _right_ and I wasn't even that crazy at the time and I liked it, so." 

Yondu started to frown halfway through Peter's babbled speech, and when Peter took in a deep breath, the Ravager Captain said, very dryly. "I didn't mean to word-fuckin'-vomit." 

"Okay. Uh. I really. Do like you? Even though sometimes you can be kinda an asshole."

"That," Yondu said, with a snort, "Is the worst godsdamned confession ever."

"I know, I know." Peter raised his hands palms up. "I'm not good at this. Uh. I want to take this seriously too, okay? This alpha thing. And stuff."

"'Stuff'?" 

"Uh. Can we start over?" 

"Kid," Yondu sighed. "So let me get this straight. Humans don't have heat cycles."

"Nope."

"So," Yondu continued, with a tone of morbid curiosity, "You guys... fuck like krjns all the time?"

"Uh." Peter blinked rapidly. "Well _no_ , most people have uh, jobs and things and-"

"I mean, you guys _can_ do it all the time?"

"I... guess?"

"Wow." Yondu looked like he was frozen between disbelief, astonishment and a weird sort of uncertain curiosity. "No wonder your people never fuckin' reached the space age."

"But betas-"

"Even betas have cycles," Yondu muttered. "Okay. Maybe Kraglin and I should'a had some sort of Talk with you about this, around when we were showing you about the ship and shit like that."

"Uh." That would have been the absolute worst talk ever. "Maybe."

"Right then. So. Do you now remember the bit where I said that Zatoans take this kinda shit real seriously?"

"Yeah." Peter was definitely blushing now, to his mortification. "Look. I'm um. Cool with that. Seriously. I mean. You're a dick. But I know you'll have my back, and you're, well. I'll like to. Really take this seriously too. I think. Do I still get to keep the _Milano_?" 

"You do have a terminal case of stupid," Yondu muttered, but he seemed to relax. "C'mere." 

Cautiously, Peter stepped closer, until he was within reach, then he let out a low gasp as Yondu pulled him close, until they were flush together and Peter's cheek was pressed over Yondu's broad shoulder. Yondu was... _sniffing_ him, his mouth pressed against Peter's neck, and it was weird for a moment, then it wasn't. Somehow, Yondu's thick scent was reassuring, in and of itself, like a warm cocoon of safety. 

"Right then," Yondu muttered, his breath hot against Peter's neck. "So. Here's the deal. You're still part of the crew. Your ship's still yours. You still got a quota to meet, just like everyone else. You've got the same latitude as you got before, just like the rest, and you still got to follow my rules."

"Okay," Peter whispered, lightheaded with relief. 

" _But_ ," Yondu added. "Your heat cycles? _I_ handle them. No other alphas. Yeah?"

"Okay." Peter nodded against Yondu's coat. "More than. More than happy. About that." 

"Out of a heat cycle," Yondu continued, sounding amused, "You wanna come to me, sure. We can work something out. But if you're elsewhere, you wanna get your rocks off with someone else? Fine. Just don't fuckin' catch anything." 

"Wow. That's." Peter hesitated. "Unexpected."

"Space is fuckin' big," Yondu shrugged. "I don't expect the Ravagers to be celibate, especially during shore leave. And I sure don't have the time to help you out whenever you need it. Out of a heat cycle, anyways. Deal?"

"Yeah." Peter tentatively snaked his arms around Yondu's waist, curling his fingers over the thermaleather. "Deal."

"Oh," Yondu added, almost absently. "You humans. Maybe I should'a asked earlier. But do you need anti-preg meds?"

"What." Peter froze up. " _No_. How should I... I'm pretty sure I... what even... do I? _Jesus_."

Yondu pinched at the bridge of his nose. "I don't believe this."

**Author's Note:**

> twitter: manic_intent  
> tumblr: manic-intent
> 
> (peter has omega traits because of his spartax blood)  
> okay. hopefully that's all the pwp out of my system. maybe. lol. good grief. sometimes the muse just wants to write cracky porn.


End file.
